yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
