Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
