I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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