so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
