Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
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So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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