whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
