so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
