You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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