was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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