May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Alive.
So much puke
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize