I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize