Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
