So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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