please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
