Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
either way he was missing a nipple.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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