HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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