I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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