I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize