Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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