Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
