Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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