I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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