Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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