i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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