two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
