Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
