i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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