My nipple is on Facebook.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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