I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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