I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize