Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize