I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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