Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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