He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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