You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
