she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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