she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
