i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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