A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
