Where is the hickey?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
