There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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