i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
