I think I am morally bankrupt
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize