I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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