i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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