Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
