He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to sanitize my soul.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
