mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
