I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
