Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You were trust falling into bushes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
