Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
