awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
