Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
