problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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